Thursday, January 28, 2010

They bowl. I judge. It works.

I don't know how to break this to you, but I don't bowl. I don't like to bowl, and I enjoy being in bowling alleys even imagine my surprise when I am invited to go bowling and drink with a small group of friends....and I accept this invitation. I figure, what do a few hours out hurt....and the promise of hot man candy to gawk at doesn't hurt either. So I go, with absolutely no intention of bowling. Evidently, the person in charge of planning this whole night neglected to check about leagues and such, so we must now wait in the bar area. Fine with soda with 2 lemons please. Apparently my drink order makes me stick out like a sore thumb, as everyone else is consuming mass quantities of beer. Well, I don't like beer. I'm a liquor and wine girl, and I absolutely refuse to order a glass of wine in a bowling alley. So liquor it is.

The wait is over and it's now time to head to the lanes. Thank you Jesus. There is a group who is definitely there to bowl, and then there is a smaller group of us who are there to....well, sample the spirits of the fine establishment. We are chatting amongst ourselves when I see someone in a red shirt walk by a few times and look at me......Oh my God I know that guy. We both realize that we know each other (well I'm guessing he realized this before I did) so I just blurt out "ok where do I know you from? Or is it more where do I hate you from? Help me out here?" He tells me we used to work together years ago.....then it hits me. Chili's when I was in grad school years ago. So then my mind starts wandering....or judging, as it were. He goes from being a server at Chili' working at a bowling alley. Does anyone else find this rather odd? I'm not suggesting that a serving position at Chili's is the least bit prestigious, but I'm sure you can sense where I'm going with this. I go up to the concession stand to order some food (shocker, I know) and here comes Mr. Chili's. He initiates conversation and I waste no time in asking him what happened to his former job. He explains that he wanted to be in management. Hmmmmmmm. Server at Chili's vs. Manager at a bowling alley. Is this a lateral move or.......? I'm at a loss. Either way, he decides he's going to comp our food I just ordered, which was really nice of him so I thank him, naturally. While he's telling the employee behind the bar to comp our food, I can't help but notice the guy's name tag. The employee is Hispanic, and his name is German. Yup, German. I'll leave the over analysis to you on that one.

Our food arrives, and however questionable it appears....I, of course, eat it anyway. I am paying for this life decision today, but nevermind that. While we are devouring our pseudo chili nachos and french fries, I immediately notice the arrival of some new lane neighbors. They bear a slight resemblance to some cast members from a new MTV reality show. The Jersey Shore....maybe you've heard of it. They walk over to the neighboring lane, with drinks already in hand. I believe they also possess their own bowling balls. Clearly this is not their first time. The Situation's understudy is wearing jeans and a t-shirt that appears to be a tad too snug for his body type, and then there is the hat cocked sideways....because would you really expect anything less from The Situation? Snooki's stand-in is wearing leggings with Ed Hardy written down the side of the legs. Really....Ed Hardy??? I had my iPhone with me at the time (it always serves me well).......I will attempt to post the photo of this shortly. It is truly amazing.

So what have I learned from last night, you ask? Well, a few things.....

1) Don't trust your friends when they promise you hot man candy only to lure you out with them. It's a trap and the hot man candy that is promised could end up being a guy that is already engaged with a 2 month old infant. Seriously. Don't fall for it.
2) Don't ever frequent bowling alleys. Ever. And if you must partake in bowling activity, stick to Wii bowling in the comfort of your own home. It's way less....traumatic?
3) Always be nice to your co-workers, as you never know where your paths might cross again. You could be hungry and they could manage a bowling alley and give you free food for your kindness. This is huge.
4) Always always always bring your iPhone with you, wherever you go. And please remember to charge it beforehand. You never know what kind of treasures you will want to document for later use. Just saying.

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