Monday, February 1, 2010

The D.O.A. challenge: FAIL

Some people worship God. I have been known to do this from time to time as well, but I'm a much more loyal worshipper of....the chicken wing. Three dollar cafe, Buffalo Wild Wings, Hooters, Buffalo Wing University...praying never tasted so good. Really.

I recently ventured to a local spot to get some wing praying in with some fellow worshippers. The hours were very...happy, if you will. This particular spot is evidently known for their D.O.A. challenge. Yes, that stands for Dead On Arrival, if memory serves me correctly. That's how hot these wings are supposed to be.....they are supposed to make you wish you were dead. Another friend and I had never sampled these delectable death wish drummettes, so we figured we would live on the edge during this particular hour of smiles.

Well, the company we keep usually knows the management staff of wherever we go in some way, shape, or form. We decided to utilize this connection and ask if we could just try one wing, rather than a basket of 6. Clearly that would be overwhelming. After we ordered the wings, our other friends started with their warning deliveries....."Don't do it!"..."Your taste buds will be messed up for at least 3 days!"...."Leave these stupid challenges to us guys!"....and my personal favorite....."The sauce actually has mace in it!"....wait a minute....hold on....the sauce has mace in it?!?!?!? Now that is just uncalled for! Why would someone mix mace in a buffalo wing sauce anyway?

Based on this new information, my equally as adventurous girlfriend and I decided to downgrade our order from the D.O.A. wing to a french fry lightly dipped in the D.O.A. sauce. It came. We tried it. It kicked our asses. It was heinous and I will never be trying that particular buffalo wing sauce, or challenge, ever again. I learned a valuable lesson on this day, one that will undoubtedly serve me well for years to come: Leave the gross food challenges to the guys. We girls can't hang. We bow to thee. And don't forget to pass the water. Thanks.

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