Thursday, February 25, 2010

Karaoke: Not a sober sport

Birthdays, birthdays, birthdays. Seriously, my friends' parents must have joined a procreation pact or something. We are out for a girlfriend's birthday a few nights ago at a favorite sushi restaurant of ours.....eating, enjoying the eating, discussing how much more we want to eat, etc. We are eaters, if you haven't already picked up on this.

Anywho, a friend of ours is apparently in charge of this karaoke event there Tuesday nights. No, he doesn't own his own company, nor does he have the karaoke equipment. He really just runs the show that is karaoke, wherever he goes. And believe me when I say, whenever he and a few choice other friends of mine partake in karaoke will usually find me running the other way. Usually. Not on this night in question, however. Nope.

There are maybe 10-15 folks in the restaurant when the karaoke starts. Once this event is underway, that population dwindles down to about 5. Um, there are 5 people in our group. Yep, the restaurant goers pulled a Dawn and now it's just us. Fabulous. And really, what better way to wish my dear friend a happy birthday than to torture her ears? So we all take turns singing. Some do solos, while some refuse to sing alone and require at least one other person present if she is going to go anywhere near a mic. Can anyone guess who I'm referring to? Oh yes, me.

I am not like those folks you see on American Idol who show up in chicken suits, demanding to be heard, and end up sounding like a kitten being drowned in acid. Well, at least I'm not wearing a chicken suit and making demands. The rest is up for interpretation, I suppose. Seriously though, I readily admit I am no Glee contender. Sober self-awareness can be a beautiful thing sometimes, but I digress.

So this guy walks in who ends up knowing the "karaoke host", which is our friend, naturally. Yup, this would make him the 6th person in the restaurant, not including the staff. He immediately jumps up to the mic and is preparing to sing some Bryan Adams. Bold choice. I heart Bryan Adams, and I am not ashamed to admit this. I had all of his cassette tapes, including the Robinhood soundtrack. Love it.

Anyway, Mr. Friend has no idea what the lyrics are, despite them being on the screen for him to follow along. Some of us are desperately trying to assist with the song, albeit from afar. My friends catch on that I know every fucking word to the song and start yelling for me to go help him. It's Bryan Adams. Of course I'm going to help out in efforts that don't include butchering a masterpiece. Had I known they were going to capture video footage of this, I probably would not have done so......which brings me to, yet another, lessons learned piece.

Lessons learned:

1) When a certain friend is invited anywhere we go, always prepare for the slight chance karaoke will somehow make its entrance into the evening.
2) Start carrying a flask. Maybe. Ok really, this could be applicable to most situations, could it not??
3) When in public, perhaps it is best to NOT openly adore 90's pop stars.
4) Always always always apologize to everyone's ears before and after every song. It's just better that way. Setting expectations and whatnot.
5) Purchase one or more rounds for any and all listeners before every song? Drunk and tone deaf never tasted so good.

Please note that I embrace there are those who treat karaoke as a weekly hobby. These lessons are not necessarily for you. If you sound like that kitten being drowned in acid.....well, perhaps you should heed my advice, as well as rethink your hobby options. Just saying.

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